Description
One shower gel, 8 uses — men’s grooming without unnecessary complications
WHO AM I?
I’m a vegan shower gel that will give wings to any eagle. I help you start the day soaring and end it flying high.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
I’m a high-flying product! You can wash your pecker with me, and if you really want to, you can even tidy up the nest. By the way, I smell so good that chicks will be racing to build nests, hoping they’ll get to sit on your eggs. I don’t provide bird-brains with a sharp mind, but I refresh the body perfectly. I wash, I smell great, I lather up, and I make such an impression that you can confidently hit the town to get laid. And although I smell divine, I don’t recommend taking me in your beak.
BABE, WONDERING WHAT’S INSIDE?
Inside, I’m the absolute quintessence of nature! You don’t need a bird’s-eye view to see my killer formula. Here, you’ll find gentle cleansing agents and plant-based glycerin responsible for hydration. The presence of panthenol, niacin, and biotin ensures your feathers will be perfectly groomed and well-cared-for. Look, we could argue over semantics, but we’re absolutely convinced this is the best shower gel for a magnificent bird!
Ingredients: Aqua, Sodium Coco-Sulfate, Coco-Glucoside, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Glycerin, Glyceryl Oleate, Panthenol, Niacin, Biotin, Betula Alba Leaf Extract, Chamomilla Recutita Flower Extract, Equisetum Arvense Extract, Urtica Dioica Leaf Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Humulus Lupulus Extract, Arctium Lappa Root Extract, Salvia Officinalis Leaf Extract, Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract, Lawsonia Inermis Extract, Panicum Miliaceum Seed Extract, Sodium Gluconate, Citric Acid, Sodium Chloride, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate, Parfum, Coumarin, Limonene, Linalool, Linalyl Acetate, Tetramethyl Acetyloctahydronaphthalenes.
CHECK OUT MY FRAGRANCE NOTES:
- Top notes: ccitrus fruits, rosemary, spicy notes
- Heart notes: almond, Tonka bean
- Base notes: notes of leather, patchouli, cedar
HOW TO USE MEN’S SHOWER GEL:
Apply to skin, massage in, foam and rinse.
WHAT’S THE WORD ON THE STREET?
Better to take an eagle-faced dive in the tub than to vulture drinks off your neighbor. So even if you step into the shower drunk as a starling, you’ll still walk out looking like a majestic white-tailed eagle carved in marble against a red backdrop. Because this isn’t just a regular wash. It’s a ritual for guys with balls as big as an ostrich’s—though those with quail-sized ones are welcome to splash around too. And we don’t wrap things in a towel—by which we mean, we don’t beat around the bush. You don’t need to strut like a peacock. No need to play anyone for a hoopoe or drop a cuckoo’s egg on them.
For as everyone knows, an eagle—whether big or small—stands proud, because anything else simply wouldn’t befit him. Just as long as he’s clean and fresh.
